When I first graduated High School I was still in the state of mind that everything could be solved by computers. This was in the hay day of Yahoo back in the ancient megabit era of 1996 (Yes that means I’m 31 now). I really didn’t have an idea of what I wanted to do, so after a consultation with a counselor at my local college after many years I got an associates in Information Management Technology in 2001.

This was shortly after the majority of these types of jobs went to India. You can imagine my disposition at the time. Shortly a few years after I started doing my own artwork (Pencils and Paper) a friend of mine was taking classes in Graphical design at the same college. Through her I discovered what more you can do with artwork & there was a thing as a Graphic Design field. With a little more research, I found out that you could do magazine,Internet , & many other types of advertisement. Oh sure I’ve seen advertisements, and have even kept really neat looking ones, but had no idea you could even make money on your work. Soon I began taking classes and learning more about Photoshop, typography, artistic styles, linear & radial artwork, etc. Frankly it was the best classes ever taken. It was all great until one day I got a call from financial Aid.

“We are sorry but due to the previous classes you took for your first major, you have reached the financial aid cap for the state of Texas and no longer qualify for financial aid” – paraphrased from best of memory.

I knew I could take loans, but my financial situation at the time, I didn’t think I could do it. And the Idea of debt scared the daylights out of me. Since that day in 2005, I always regretted not finishing those classes. One of my best friends, who I consider a blood sister ( Love ya Tracy) gave me the idea of looking for an online college to finish my Associates in Graphic Design. Well after a few months of trying I’ve found one I really like. It took so long because when you type online college and graphic design in Google, you get a lot of shady sites.

The school I found and choose is The Arts Institute Online Pittsburgh Division. From my talking to their representative and researching their online website, I’ve found this school would be a great choice for me. I can still work full time and take the classes part time. Now you may be asking, how will you afford this. I hate to admit it but I’m going to take the student loans. Yes I know I’m paying my current debt off still, but I think this might be my last chance at a change in life. I love art so much and want to do Graphic Design even more. How will it go? Who knows. But Its a start.

During this years Second Life Rely for Life Campaign I created a series of ten images to sell for various art auctions. These were sold to raise funds for the relay. The original images were mounted in a film strip style and will not be resold in second life again. When i was wandering around second life, the insperation I found for this set at a sim called Japan Dream. For those of you that are not versed in second life, A Sim is a area created in the game space by a user to represent a particular idea or space they want to show. This Sim was created to represent a 1950's Japan sea side town. The creator of this sim clubkenjin Loon definatly put time and dedication into the creation of this enviroment. This shows an example of what second life can be about. How art can come from the simpelist things.

I had the most doing this set. Going around this area, seeing all of the cultural images of the time made me smile. Reminded me why I wanted to become an artist. Please be sure to visit and check out this sim. I have provided the Land Mark at the beginning of this post.

Please check out my website for a flash slideshow.

Currently I have almost completed my ten picture series i plan to auction off for relay for life. Only 2 more to go. This series means a lot to me. Not just the hard work I have put into the ideas but the reasons why I am doing this.

1) I am the official photographer for the second life relay for life. Over the past two years I have put on many events and taken many pictures to support the Relay for Life. This year I am still taking pictures but have not pushed my self to get pictures for every event. My reasons for this are simple. Last year i pushed my self to the breaking point to be able to cover almost every event. This caused me to feel kind of ill and if i continued that pace I do not know what would have happened. This year I am taking an approach of covering when I am able to and if i do not get to catch it, I will not worry or be upset. This is part of my new mantra



2) I have two sisters who both have had cancer in their families and lives. They are not blood sisters but i consider them my blood. My Friend Daisie (Second Life Name) who i have known since High school and is the best friend i have ever had. Her family has a history of Cancer in her life. My Friend Danielle (Second Life Name) I have known for a bit over 2 years since i first logged into second life. When i first met her she was a damn friendly and bright person to get to know. With how cancer has affected her life over the many years, I really want to move to New Zealand to help her out. I would never do this for anyone else



Now I have been asked why I do not reveal my real life identity or how i have Chosen it. Especially why I go by Ishtarangel Micheline. In real life believe in the goddess Ishtar of Babylon. Also Known as Innana or Astarte or many other variations. The Angel comes from my belief that there are beings of some type that do look over us. Micheline was the last name available at the time i created this account. But it does strike as a pretty name to me. Over my three years of Second Life this identity feels more like the real person I have always wanted to be. Per previous blogs, it is known I have struggled with Depression my whole life. Since I have found out what really caused it, I have been in a mode of self discovery and insight. With discovery comes changes and for me the Change to being referred to as Ishtar feels more natural. Like it is the true part of me that I never accessed till I realized it.



Ok I am done talking. Once I finish this set I will post preview pictures of what this will look like. And currently I will also be working on an advertisement for Eros Fashion.

On April 29th 2009 I turned 31 years old. The following day I got to have the best Belated Birthday parties i have ever had and fun.

With the day i had i defiantly needed it. Earlier that day i had the fun of knowing how far it is between Lubbock Texas and Amarillo Texas. a little over 100 miles of straight driving to see a Councilor for a mental condition i have. I will not mention what it is here and only the people that know me in RL know what it is. In all my life I have not driven past Canyon Texas which is a little over 20 min away on Interstate 28. I have to say I have never seen so much living farm land and dead land all in one setting and polluted sky. I was really hoping that driving out in the country i could actually see a real blue sky. I mean the type of daytime blue at 2pm that isn’t obstructed by the Pollution our species is well known for. I had no such luck in finding that type of sky. I guess it’s now is a myth or fairy tale of the long lost past of America.

I did get the pleasure of seeing a few smaller towns i have heard of before and amazed by how small some where. Happy Texas only took 5 min to drive through and that was it. But there was some damn pretty land. Now when i got to Lubbock that’s when all hell broke loose. I know i have never been in another big city and its the 2nd biggest in my area of the country. I have to say this. Who ever created the layout of the city streets in Lubbock was a madman who should be shot and their entire blood line shot. I couldn’t tell north from south and where the logical progression of a street should be did not exist. What did not help was that the woman at the doctors office could not give a proper set of directions and did not know the city well enough. I did make it though. And until i can figure out what is causing this, I think i will go back. I would tell you in this blog what it is, but its very private and I know its the cause of my depression in my life.

Later that night I got to log into Second Life, and got the Surprise of my life. I work for a club called Urbanity and have made some damn great friends there. As a Belated Birthday gift they threw one hell of a cool party for me and got two of my Best Performer friends perform. Freestar Tammas and SRV4U Conacher. These two are some of the best power house performers in my opinion in all of second life.
Just getting to see the time and effort that people who i consider family went through to do this, that really shows how much they care. I know i have not really liked my birthday in the past, but not any more. This is the year that i finally got out of my depression hole. My not not understanding why i am the way i am. Knowing what factors caused my depression and my hating my body, I now can work on fixing my life. Having a great birthday like this really gives me hope that things will be better.

  

To see pictures from my birthday party you can go to:

Ishtars Kiss Birthday Pictures

April 29th, 2009 I will officially turn 31 years old. Right now I’m sitting down watching TV and just wondering. Since I have turned 31 this year, am finally in a good work status, will this year be any different. I know I complain about my life, but I am trying to take steps in changing it.

Yesterday i took a halfway step, well sort of. There is a cafe in town called the 806 and some of the local pagan/wiccan community members come there to meet and greet. It sounds like fun. For over the past year I’ve been told about it. Frankly the woman that runs Night Sky (They sell a lot of materials like candles, incense, etc.) has told me i would have fun there. Well I almost made it yesterday. Only problem is that my damn Social Anxiety kicked in. I wanted to go in and say hi but, I just got scared to meet new people. In a nut shell I get scared and tell my self “They might not like me or They might like like what i say.” I know its meeting new people but I just fall into that bad habit.

I am also hoping that for once this year I go out somewhere and maybe meet a guy or girl. One of the things that has held me back, is that until i finally realized I am Bi Sexual and (….If you know me you know what my and is) my depression finally broke. And quite frankly when your 31 have never dated and had sex you start to wonder what the hell your missing. One funny example is one time I was out with my friend Daisie (her Second life name) the face and slight moan i was giving made her laugh and say “Its not sex”. Hehehe. Well for me a great tasting piece of chocolate is damn close. Ok that sounds incredibly bad but hey I got to go on my guesses here

One thing I guess i really want to change is how i feel disconnected. Not just from the world at large, since i have such a problem talking to people. But I would like to feel connected to people on a personal level. Id like to be able to feel a bit more then recognition. Its hard to describe how i see it. Lets see. It would be like trying to run a 3d game program on a phone line modem when you should be using a cable connection. You only get part of the information but that’s it.